A Triumph of Spirit: A Tribute to My Mom

"Start believing in dreams and others will catch the fever." - A random fortune cookie

In 2010, my wife and I completed a three-year adventure of living in Las Vegas and moved back to our home state of Wisconsin.  With all of our belongings impressively jigsawed into a mini-storage container, all that was left was to caravan ourselves and our two cars the 1800+ miles. Out of a desire to save time and money (and, more subtlety, an excitement to return to family and friends and start the next chapter of our life), we decided to squeeze the trip into two days rather than three.  This necessitated extra drivers to handle the 12- to 14-hour driving sessions.  My wife was able to enlist one of her best friends as her co-pilot.  I had my mom.

I make that sound bad, but I was, in all honesty, perfectly happy with my mom joining me for the trip.  She had offered her services as our wedding gift and I greatly appreciated the thoughtfulness.  But I was also excited about getting to spend the time with her.  My mom and I had grown close since my time living with her during a college sabbatical of sorts.   The time together, coupled with a period of intense personal growth for me, led to a connection between the two of us that we both admitted was not there before.  For me, the candid, raw conversations about our struggles brought out information that shaded my perspective of this woman whom, I was embarrassed to realize, I did not know as well as I had thought.  I felt like the car ride would provide another opportunity for us to connect in this way.  It did not disappoint.  As she shared pieces of her childhood that I was completely unaware of before, I began to recognize just what an impressive person she is.

To be direct, my mom is the most impressive person I know.  I have long thought that the way she has overcome numerous difficulties and struggles to reach astounding heights deserves to be acknowledged.  In her late 30's, a time when most people resign themselves to "I guess this is what life will be," my mom changed careers and started as an entry-level member of the Harley-Davidson Motor Company.  Soon after starting, she announced that she had decided to take advantage of the company's paid-tuition benefit plan to pursue a Bachelor's degree.  I can still remember sitting in her living room as she told me and my brother this news and how I felt puzzled  as to why she would want to do it (and, I hate to admit, doubtful of her actually completing it).  Happily, I was proved wrong.  Not only did she complete the Bachelor's degree, she continued on and obtained a Master's in Adult Education.  She did this all while making an extremely impressive climb up the corporate ladder at Harely-Davidson.

In 2005, my mom opened a restaurant.  It had been her dream for a long time.  I can remember numerous occasions where she talked about someday having her own establishment.  She did everything right in the planning and preparation.  I wish I could say that it achieved exactly what she dreamed and that it is still open today, but it unfortunately had to close its doors.  I know that the "failure" of the restaurant weighs heavily on her.  But I refuse to see it as a failure; to me, it will always be a shining success.  It is a success because she did what so many only talk of doing - she chased her dream with uninhibited passion and effort.  Rather than finding an excuse not to enter the game, she stepped up, took the shot, and left no question of what could have been.

But this is how she has always been.  She never settles for the easy or safe choice when it calls for sacrificing what she truly wants.  Where most people would find an excuse to play it safe and stop short of the next step, my mom has always contintued to push forward.  She is the embodiment of the common misinterpretation of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken."  Her life has been about taking her own route rather than the expected course.

This indelible spirit has been an inspiration to me.  Time and time again, from finishing my undergraduate degree after being kicked out of school to willfully leaving two teaching positions to try for one in the Madison area, it would have been easy to find an excuse to settle rather than continue on.  So many times I have been faced with the safe, well-trodden path or the more difficult, less-traveled road.  And each time, I have been called to take the path she would take.  And it has made all the difference.

A little over a year after coming back from Las Vegas, my wife and I were blessed with a beautiful baby girl.  When we discussed potential names, I told my wife that I wanted our daughter's first name to in someway include my mother's name, Kathryn.  I wanted this both to honor all that my mom has done for me and to serve as a tribute to the amazing woman she is.  But on deeper, more mystical level, I also hoped that in connecting their names, baby Cate and Nana Katie would also share the same never-give-up, never-settle, always-chase-your-dreams spirit.  There is nothing I wish for more in the world.